TRY AGAIN TO FLY!
I apologize already now. I said I will let go, I said I’ll let you go, let you loose. Sure I keep talking, writing, loving, feeling for/about you. But I feel already it makes me sick, makes me angry. I don’t feel hate but you might experience it. I apologize now while I just can. I might get unfair and rude. I’m angry already. It’s about time! Can’t handle your two-face of lying anymore! It makes me sick, it’s pulling me down. This love gives me nothing then pain! I hate you from the day on you started to lie to me. I’m not the person who should apologize. It’s you! But of course you won’t feel the need for it because you don’t need me, you never lost anything, neither love, neither a friend. You screw around with things people give to you so easily. Why don’t you say it loud what you said once to me? You hate people! You should be alone. You should appreciate what you got. Wake up and realize the shards of your broken mirror! Damn I gave you so much, I promised you, I was willing to step back just to please you. You were lying to me as long as you needed me. Don’t lie about being a friend. Maybe you tried but you’re just not able to. You were fast finding a replacement for the only need you had for me. And by the way, you should start asking him some questions. You might encounter something soon. I know what I see when I look in peoples eyes and how they react. So just asked him from time to time what he might feel. You will be surprised. So what did you get? A freaking driver who’s finally feeling the same.
I don’t know what’s wrong with you. I see you sometimes and just realize how immature you are. Agreed I’m the same, but I wasn’t before I met you.
You know when I see you I don’t know what I see anymore. Sometimes it feels good and warm, I feel I could hold you so close, just hold you in my arms. Sometimes I’m going to explode. I see the whole you, might people keep saying I don’t know you – trust me. I do know you. I know your faces, I know the truth. I know what you’re able to. I have a perfect picture of you. There are some lovely parts, some very arrogant, some childish, some provocative, some deep, some blue, some you don’t even want to talk about, some you pretend not to know. Meeting this parts would be something like laughing loud out about what you just said and attaching a laud “I knew it, you’re so crazy… let’s…” I would enjoy this excitement of getting all this parts to know. I know they are there, I can see it, I can feel it. This would be amazing, crazy, overwhelming, something you shake your head about, something you think your whole life. Oh girl we could have let this grow. … The others? Sure pretending to know you might be a show just to keep control. But who are the once that want/need this control – for what for?? I don’t care. As much as I respect my friends and yours as well. If they really wanna know…? haha
I know you’re whole being, I love it, I see mine. I know the parts that make you think, I know about what you do. I can see it and it looks like chaos but it’s a beautiful order why you do!
It’s so sad to see your decisions that make your life. Waste of time, waste of energy. I see who you could be and I know it would make you happy. You would start to love life, to love people. I know it but you decide another way. How many times do you have to control yourself to be some kind of puppet in the game?? The game made by the once who don’t play under the rules. I hope one day your favorite mask, your favorite lie would decide to die and show me the truth. I would love you baby! I could show you the truth. Just stop one day to be afraid, just climb on a ladder and look around. See that giving up this lie wouldn’t hurt a bit. It’s a release! One day you should walk tall and let people know you can. Don’t hide, don’t sneak around. See the one thing that could free your life. Damn. I do love you. We could have so much fun. Yes I decided to let you go. Well I do. It’s up to you.
Do you remember – do you remember talking once about to fly? You should think about this twice. You got the wings. See what you can do.
My love, good bye Winnie.
Your Marco
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