Freiraum | Open Space

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It’s all about sexuality, nude, gender

It’s all about hate, competition, envy

It’s all about love, forgiveness, devotion

It’s all about us and what we are as humans

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In the beginning I planed to dedicate this post to the piece of flesh that someone - God knows who - gave us before we were born. The piece of flesh that separates us man, the male from woman, the female. The piece of flesh that takes control from time and time and leaves us either with pleasure and satisfaction…

I love you!

… or chaos and guilt.

What have I done???

What the F*CK is going on? The reason for this short journey into our pants today is that I wanted to make a point as an response to a topic that came up as I was talking with a female yesterday. I quote just three pieces from this conversation:

“mans misperception of women’s penis envy

…

after all, it’s just a piece of flesh that tries to look macho for god-knows-how-long

…

but I do appreciate it when it comes to Da Vinci’s drawings”

But I decided, not today! So, let’s look macho and get out of here as quick as possible.

Today was a slow day, I made me a slow day. I woke up late but I don’t feel bad about it. I need to enjoy this here as long as it lasts. For example next week might be pretty busy for me. But that’s cool. I went shopping for some fish because I planed to cook. I got two fish fillet, flour and this time red instead of the white mini potatoes. It started raining as I walked back. It was so heavy but somehow I liked it. Even if I got really wet. I had to change all my cloth including boxer shorts afterward!

The cooking toady. I have to say I wasn’t so happy with the results. I mean the taste was OK actually surprising good. But the look. But the potatoes looked burned and the fish felt apart. So it was a mess and since I have in mind to cook for someone else it’s not just important that it tastes good now it also needs to be good looking. Somehow the flour I put on the fish disappeared and this time I tried a tomato with flour and it went out to be the same. I made something wrong. But as I said the taste was good. That means if I have company I need to cook something that was working before. I’m still thinking about the turkey. It was already working twice. So it should be fine.

Another thing. Do you know this moments in life when some things appear more often then normal. It starts that you have memories, thoughts about one thing. A part of a song lyric for example. Then you start writing about it. You use it more often. You use it in conversations, when you write and when you make jokes. Then you see it from other people. It’s seems they have the same thoughts like you do. But you can’t explain because how can they know? Then there are more things that start to be like this and somehow it’s more and more connected. And one day something really extreme happens. You see something, someone tells a story. Everything comes together. It’s a story about something big. It’s a story about things that start to be clear. And then when this story has you, when you really into it. It starts to be even more unbelievable. They start playing a melody all the time, but you don’t know what it is. The same with the persons in the story, they don’t know what it is. Then somehow the first person says something that’s almost the same what you say from time to time and you start laughing about this coincidence. You are impressed by this coincidence. But then it goes on. The persons in the story try to find out whats wrong here and what this melody is all about. Then the next starts saying something. Something that’s the next part of the lyric you had in mind. Something you never said but you were thinking since weeks. Now you ask yourself, how is this possible? But it’s not done, the other persons complete the lyrics to this song, one after the other. And it doesn’t fit into this story. It’s something the person who wrote this story would never write because it just doesn’t fit into it but it still happens. Finally they all meet in a room where they get the answer and now the melody starts to be a song. You recognize the song and now you’re flashed! It’s so unnatural and incredible, it’s like you are with them in this room. You feel like as you were class moving with your friends. Your head starts spinning because you are looking for a explanation. You feel a presence, but you can’t explain. It’s like you are home, it’s like you are together. With them, with you, with everything in your surrounding. You are one! Then you look around and everything makes sense. Things you put in your room because they somehow looked right for you. Things you painted, things you said, things you wrote. Everything came together in this one moment. Everything. You start to be afraid but you calm down because you believe that something that feels so good and right can’t be wrong and bad. Things are start to be different after this moment. It seems that things that were an important part for your self are now something bigger. You are somehow on hold for what will come. You start missing this extreme feeling and the day after you hope that you can memorize and reproduce this feeling and situation. That’s what you wish. But it’s not done. Strange things happen afterward. It seems that you made noise. It seems that you called attention to yourself. But you still have this doubts. You are still afraid. I was still afraid and so I ignored to protect me. To stay myself, to stay in my world with my believes. Things happen in life. I would like to quote from the movie Magnolia “It really happens” And actually Magnolia is the movie that shows exactly one of this situations. Magnolia is one of this stories!

All this makes me wonder, sometimes it makes me afraid. I end my post today with another quote below. I think this are all moments worth thinking about it but in my experience, you need to take care. You can get lost in this faster then you think. What does it mean? Aren’t we ready to experience . . .

Have a good night and

see you later.

Marco

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“There must be some kind of way out of here
Said the joker to the thief
There’s too much confusion
I can’t get no relief

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Businessman they drink my wine
Plow men dig my earth
None will level on the line
Nobody of it is worth
Hey hey

8

No reason to get excited
The thief he kindly spoke
There are many here among us
Who feel that life is but a joke but uh
But you and I weve been through that
And this is not our fate
So let us not talk falsely now
The hours getting late
Hey

8

Hey

8

All along the watchtower
Princes kept the view
While all the women came and went
Bare-foot servants to, but huh
Outside in the cold distance
A wild cat did growl
Two riders were approachin
And the wind began to howl
Hey
Oh
All along the watchtower
Hear you sing around the watch
Gotta beware gotta beware I will
Yeah
Ooh baby
All along the watchtower

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